old wounds can still bleed

superwhateverbananasplit

2006-04-09T13:57:00.000+08:00

my blog is still under construction.. hehe..

frigid

2006-02-08T13:22:00.000+08:00

ang tagal mag-load ng blogskins.com..

my right deltoid is in pain (medyo lang)...

at last, may monopoly na kami! weee!!! another reason to stay up late...

i have 2894 unread messages in my inbox... (kasi naman po, since 2nd year high school pa yung email add na yun.. malay ko ba na mas maganda kapag wala kang nilagay na interests..)

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i'm looking for a cute, anime-inspired blogskin.. para hindi naman boring itong page na to.. unfortunately, wala pa ko nakikita.. most of the skins that i've seen, sobrang... basta, malayo sa gusto ko..

sana may mabait na magturo sa akin kung pano gumawa ng sarilng skin.. pupunuin ko ng fruits basket.. hehe...

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ang bagal talaga...

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i'm almost twenty but i still feel 18. and i'm not growing any taller. maybe i should stop the habit of putting "triple-double-dots" after sentences or phrases. i should read more about medical-surgical since we're about to take the board exams next year. time is running out.

playing ragnarok is fun but it consumes almost half of my allowance. i just hope my mom won't read this. i shouldn't spend my money on things that i cannot utilize in the future. maybe i can sell my account for a thousand bucks. i already spent more than 3k just to level-up 5 characters. if i saved all my money instead of buying RO loads then maybe i could buy a new phone. it needs to evolve.

should i work abroad? a part of me says yes, and another, hell no..

i need a divine intervention..

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To my sis..

2006-02-07T10:03:00.000+08:00

birthday na naman ni kim.. sigurado may spawewi mamaya..

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Kim... happy birthday.. wag ka mag-alala, papasa ka sa UP..

sleep deprivation

2006-02-05T15:32:00.000+08:00

yes! buhay na naman ako! hello sa mga naka-miss sa akin... harhar!

dapat hindi na ako nag-ragna.. hindi ko tuloy ma-update to.. ang boring pa tignan...

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ang toxic ng week ko...

sleep deprivation...

pinagpuyatang NCP na hindi naman pinapasa..

aww...

ang mga pagkain sa FEU hospital ay napakamahal..

highway robbery..

aww...

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i love you, guys...

stained mind

2005-05-16T12:57:00.000+08:00

ang hirap mag-update ng blog kapag marami kang ginagawa..

ang hirap mag-update ng blog kapag wala kang ginagawa..

ang hirap mag-update ng blog kapag walang laman utak mo..

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enrollment is on may 24, tuesday.. amputch.. hindi ko pa nga alam kung tatanggapin pa rin ako sa institute eh..

ang problem: hindi agad naglalabas ng list ng mga "Pwede!" at mga "Need not enroll".. so lahat umaasa.. lahat magbabayad ng tuition fee.. lahat magpapasukat ng clinical uniform, shoes, at scrub suit..

tapos malalaman nila bagsak sila..

tapos magrerefund sila syempre.. hindi naman nila magagamit yun eh..

tapos..

tapos..

tapos..

after 10 years pa nila makukuha pera nila..

ang sabi naman sa kin: "kung babagsak ka.. dapat alam mo na yun.. ikaw gumawa nun eh.."

sure.. sige sabi mo eh.. subukan mo sabihin yan sa mga bigla na lang tinanggal.. kahit wala naman daw silang bagsak..

depende talaga sa authority yan..

at nandito pa ko..

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alam nyo ba kung saan ako nagaaral?

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nice to be back

2005-05-13T21:35:00.000+08:00

Last update: Feb. 25, 2005.. shit! saan ako nagpunta?!

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today is the last day of our summer class and we've been really busy (kaya naman pala hindi makapag-update). and classes will resume on may 30.. thank you, feu, for giving us a (almost) two-week vacation.. akala ko kasi wala na..

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punta nga pala kayo sa braniggan's (tama na ishfelling?) sa may timog. watch out for cybelle's robe, lalo na yung bassist, astig cya.. entrance fee: 100 bucks.. on friday..

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Sino ang pumatay kay Koko Crunch?
Eh di Cereal Killer!
Nye!

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Sleep deprivation related to test in microbiology, formulating the nursing care plan, doing the visual aid in group reports, chatting, texting, shagging (not applicable to all), and emotional dillemas as manifested by sub-orbital hyperpigmentation, defective neurons, impaired speech, outrageous reasoning, relationship break-ups, drowsiness, nausea, increase in the number of pimples, dandruff, and a lot more...

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Randy Umayam Tadeo of UP Diliman.. Happy Birthday!!! (para sa May 15) more power, tsong!

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bebe, tulog ka nang maaga..hindi yung puro nba live ka... labyu!

no money, no problem (talaga lang ha..)

2005-02-26T09:52:00.000+08:00

our rle has taken up all my money.. at feeling ko madadagdagan na naman ang gastos namin for the data presentation on thursday.. haay..

[ x ]

we watched constantine last night.. it's pretty cool.. maybe i'll quit nursing and just be an exorcist.. i'll study latin and a lot of theology.. and gymnastics too for the stunts.. the i'll say "i'm trina gonzales, a**h**e.." ..

the molecular man!

2005-02-22T10:00:00.000+08:00

i woke up today with a very bad headache. and our class in nstp was moved from 5:30 in the afternoon to 10:30 in the morning. akala ko makakatulog ako ng matagal.. asa..

[ x ]

this week is the last week of february.. wala lang.. i just remembered something..

[ x ]

we watched a documentary(?) about abortion in our bioethics last week. i couldn't sleep for so many nights just thinking about how those "doctors" kill the fetus inside the mother's womb. it's gross and at the same time a very depressing sight to see.

[ x ]

happy! happy! happy! i'm now 19 (actually nung 16 pa). a few hundred days more and i'm gonna say buhbay! to my teenage years.

sembreak...

2005-02-16T10:02:00.000+08:00

the A014 summer kasama ang mga bagong classmates.. taken in pansol, laguna..

A014 summer 2004

2005-01-22T13:52:00.000+08:00

the best section in the world.. maraming maasim.. immoral.. bionic..

bottom: john sue ortiz (yao ming),jm nino, rodney bautista, nathaniel guillen, jimmy james lim, rafael john mendoza, bryan ferreras (sa gitna ni jimmy at raffy), richard casubuan, mark angelo

second row: malou (nakalimutan ko surname), aiza chang, rangelyn bangi, laven masilungan, joan dizon, jhen carpio, grace nonna bernadette dimatera (napagod ako i-type to)

third row: maria concesa paulina gacoscosim (isa pa to), mary gatyla mandigma, ako, zarah katrina andres, avah maureen espana, ma. anna kristel de leon, sandra anne parulan, gail bernadine mendiola, lenld deo osias

A014 summer 2004 napakagulo

2005-01-22T13:03:00.000+08:00

hindi kami palagi seryoso..

mouse and noth

2005-01-07T13:02:00.000+08:00

hey, sir, are you ok?
hey, sir, are you ok?
....
....
the victim is unresponsive. kindly activate medical assistance while i assess the victim and report back to me as soon as possible!
check for the airway..
mouse and noth are clear! (sobrang proud pa)
ano?
mouse and noth?
mouth and nose pala...
...

[ x ]

biggie size it, go big time, go large...

fruits basket..astig!

2005-01-05T13:51:00.000+08:00

rat, dog, cat, boar and human..

angst

2005-01-05T12:53:00.000+08:00

to fall in love with a stone.. what a fool.. you should've seen that before.. how many times do i have to warn you? i've warned you a couple of times before and still you fell for that pretty boy facade! you're such an idiot.. stupidity..

is he talking to you now? obviously he's avoiding you.. after you opened all the lines of communication.. all he has to do is reply.. did you get a reply? yes, you got one.. a very heartless reply.. you deserve it for being an idiot..

don't try to change him.. he's too stubborn.. and he'll avoid you more.. but then, i wish he would..

now you're crying.. that's all right.. acknowledge your pain.. it'll be over anyway.. he'll find some other girl to replace you..

shut up! how dare you shout at me!

i hate you for being stupid.. i hate you for falling in love with that guy.. i hate you for taking for granted the person who really loves you.. i hate you because everytime i look in the mirror i see you..

[ x ]

"The most creative power given to the human spirit is the power to heal the wound of a past it cannot change."

[ x ]

confessions of an angry banana

2004-12-31T13:27:00.001+08:00

we watched mano po 2 ("ako legal wife!") last night on cinemaone (this morning na pala actually).. wala lang.. it's a nice movie minus kris aquino.. she's too "kikay" for the role.. at bakit naman nung tumanda na sila yung character lang nya yung pinalitan yung actress? si christopher de leon naman hindi, pinaputi lang yung buhok nya tapos nag-add ng wrinkles? parang lola tuloy cya or something.. my guess is maybe hindi cya pwede makisabay sa ilang award-winning actors sa movie.. sorry, tita kris..

the world of pinoy showbiz..

[ x ]

and you're still not talking to me.. go ahead.. are you happy at the sight of other people suffering? if there's something wrong with me then say it.. i don't know what's bothering you and obviously you don't want to tell me.. am i missing something?

why won't you tell me? will it hurt me? truth hurts, i know.. but i have to deal with it..

for one minute, just for one minute.. imagine yourself in my position.. i hope you can feel my pain..

i'm sorry if i can't understand you.. the least you can do is tell me the truth..

[ x ]

numb..

[ x ]

happy new year..

[ x ]

unang tagalog post

2004-12-31T00:00:00.000+08:00

masaya maglaro ng volleyball.. masaya talaga.. PE namin yun ngayon second sem.. last sem kasi swimming.. masaya din kaya lang magcocontest kayo ng tubig kung sino pinakamarumi.. tsaka may mga occasional floating plema.. at mga lumulutang na itim na sinulid na galing sa mga swimsuits.. ang mahal mahal tapos walang pads.. leche.. pano matatakpan ang assets ko?

balik tayo sa volleyball.. masaya nga sya kaya lang ang delikado dito e yung tatama yung bola sa ulo mo.. at ang mas delikado dun e kung masisisra mo yung bola kasi kelangan mo yung bayaran..

sa PE namin kelangan maaga kang papasok.. kasi kung late ka siguradong sa may arawan ka na magpapractice kasi wala ng space sa court.. hindi kasi covered yung court namin.. puno lang ang shield.. nature lovers raw kasi ang mga tamaraws.. yeah, right.. cheap lang talaga FEU..

compared sa swimming, mas nahihirapan ako sa volleyball.. babaho ka na nga, perfectionist pa prof nyo.. pero in fairness medyo ok na cya kasi nagbibigay cya ng second chance.. nung unang game puro pasa yung braso ko.. nanginginig pa.. pero nung nasanay na ayos na..

hindi ako magaling sa volleyball.. bano ako kapag nagpapractice.. pero kapag practical na naghihimala.. yes, inspired.. hindi kasi pwede mapahiya lalo na kapag nanonood yung prospect mo na magaling mag-volleyball..

asar nga alng yung oras ng volleyball namin.. 10:30-12:00 so amoy araw na kami.. tapos first subject pa.. buti na lang yung next subject namin after 3 hours pa.. pwede pa mag-freshen up.. para hindi amoy halimaw..

[ x ]

yun lang.. masakit na mata ko.. kahit saan ako tumingin puro puti..

[ x ]

sentimental freak

2004-12-30T22:15:00.000+08:00

i'm here right now because i want to tell you that i don't want you to go.. i want to prove to you that your decision to choose me is right.. i'm not perfect but let me try.. if i'm good enough maybe i can make you stay..

i'll do my best..i don't want to put any doubt in your mind.. i've waited for this for so long so i don't want to screw it up.. there are a lot of girls who want you for themselves and i can say that it is a really tough competition.. i'm not talented.. i'm not pretty.. i'm not smart.. i have nothing much to offer but my love and the promise that i'll always be true to you.. and i'm afraid that there will come a time that you'll feel sorry for yourself because you wasted your time by choosing me.. i don't want that to happen.. i want you to be happy when we're together..

i want to thank you for giving me this opportunity to share my feelings.. i know that you're a really busy person so thanks for the time..

take care.. i'll always be here for you..

[ x ]

“When you lose someone… and you think you were
the one who loved most, between the two of you…
he lost more. For someday you can love someone
the way that you loved him… But he will never be
loved again the way that you did.”

[ x ]

what a great day

2004-12-29T15:34:00.000+08:00

i want to write something interesting today but i don't feel that creative (maybe i'm not really creative after all).. i'm lying on the bed a few minutes ago with a lot of thoughts in my mind then suddenly when i got here they're all gone..

[ x ]

.. dials a phone number..

she: hello?
he: hello
she: may ginagawa ka?
he: wala naman
she: kumain ka na?
he: hindi pa
she: why?
he: no food
she: wala pa mom mo?
he: wala pa
she: nasan ba cya gabi na ha?
he: maybe she's with her friends
she: and she left you there to starve?
he: yeah..

..silence..

he: (murmurs something)
she: ha?
he: wala
she: hindi kita narinig
he: (murmurs again)
she: ano? hindi nga kita marinig
he: hindi mo na naman narinig..

..noise at the background..

he: teka andyan na mom ko
she: ok

..he goes outside..

he: baby kain muna kami
she: ..
he: ay sorry
she: ok lang
he: cge
she: cge bye
he: bye

.. dialtone..

[ x ]

apocalypse

2004-12-28T20:00:00.000+08:00

death is something i am not afraid of.. death is the ultimate proof that you're human.. all of us will die.. the time factor will be the only variation.. and also how much pain you felt.. and how many wept at your funeral.. and how many were delighted when you died..

i always wonder "how am i going to die?".. will it be painful? will i die in my sleep? an accident? intentional? then other questions enter my mind like, will i be married by then? will i have kids? a lot of cats? will i die rich? will a lot of people remember me? the good things about me? the bad things? of course people will not think ill of you when you are already dead..

we will not know the time of our deaths.. except if you really planned it, that's suicide.. for those who are not planning to commit suicide, death will be a surprise for us.. we are reminded that we must always be good.. learn to take risks.. because we only live once.. and our lives should be memorable (in a good way)..

i'm not saying that i want to die now..

death is nothing compared to the thing that scares me the most..

loneliness..

Linger

2004-12-28T16:33:00.000+08:00

Linger by The Cranberries

If you, if you could return
Don't let it burn, don't let it fade
I'm sure I'm not being rude
But it's just your attitude
It's tearing me apart It's ruining everything
I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey so did you
So why were you holding her hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you

(chorus)
But I'm in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to let it linger
Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong, but I was wrong

If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn't feel so used
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you

what i've learned..

2004-12-28T14:41:00.000+08:00

What I've learned from the past few months : Do not show affection if you do not mean it. The person that you're showing affection to might believe it. You'll end up seeing yourself in regret because you have no choice but to stick with that person.. you have no choice.. it's all your fault.. The worst part is that you have to say goodbye to the person you really love..

Devastating..